The piece of the pie issue

This was another good issue. The cover looked great and gave the story about the university center plans the prominence it deserved.


Students in the workshop liked:

1. The terrific job the sports editor producing the copy for her section single-handedly.
2. The flow chart to the university story was terrific.
   
3. The photo on the fencing story.
4. The bongs and bongos story
5. The tilting of the photos on page 21.
6. The monkey graphic on page 6.
   

They thought the following things could be improved:

1. The lack of photos
2. Use of unidentified people or incorrect identifications of people
3. No story about the Take Back the Night rally
4. Coverage of Tegan and Sarah but not for Death Cab for Cutie
5. The online poll was ridiculous

There was some solid reporting

Good information and good sourcing on the university center story, the monkey research, the knotweed problem and the grant for the Arcata Endeavor. The stories on the Marching Lumberjacks and Tegan and Sara were good reads.

And the story about the photo exhibit was a great example of showing not telling. But..

Work on your headlines

• When you tell the reader in the head that University Center plans are unclear, you tell them that there is little reason to read the story. If it is unclear to you than what could you tell them? Never give readers reasons to skip the story.

• You needed to flip the head and subhead on the knotweed story. The idea of foreign weeds threatening local ecosystems seems a whole lot more relevant that public land agencies battling a Japanese weed.

• Who is going to read a story with this headline?: Details emerge about program prioritization

So ask yourself: What is the story about?

• Is it about implementation of the provost's program prioritization task force as the lede says? No. It is about the threat that academic programs will be cut. Or in even more relevant terms, it is about students losing courses they need or care about.
• Is the university center story about Rollin Richmond addressing the UC Board of Directors, which is how the lede begins? No. It is about the university trying to bring in retail businesses that could generate cash, but that the plans could take power away from students.

Don't repeat

The weed story begins with a weed warrior waiting to spot unwanted plants. Then the next graph we meet Jennifer Wheller who is trying to rid the land of weeks. Then in the third graph we find out that she works for the BLM which is waging war on weeds.

Flip passive sentences to make them active

In the program priortization story we see this sentence:
It was to answer these questions and rank the academic programs that the task force was created.

If you flip it you get:

The dean formed the task force to answer these questions and rank the academic programs.

Instead of:

The Endeavor has been granted $50,000 by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Orange...

If you flip it you get:

The Sisters of St. Joseph of Orange gave the Endeavor $50,000 to...

Kill undescriptive adjectives such as "very"

Don't use words like "famous" or "ironic" that should be self-evident: If someone is really famous you don't have to tell the reader he is famous. If something is ironic you don't need to tell the reader.

Don't contradict yourself

The editorial was confusing. You start by saying that it has been two years since a sexual assault happen at HSU. But then you talk about a sexual assault that happened in March. Slow down and explain yourself clearly, one fact at a time.

Once again Forum looked great.