HSU Women's Rowing

You are Carless!! I mean Careless!! Some horrendous mistakes appeared throughout the issue including on the cover and in the headlines. You are careless on grammar, on spelling and on AP Style. You need to get nit picky about your copy. You will be judged by it, and it will not disappear off the Web.

Here are just some of the mistakes:

Womens Rowing
last years non natives
10:00 a.m.
she expects this years to be...
Dr. Dorsi (who is not a medical doctor so it violates AP Style)
Furnature
1.8 billion dollars
sentaments

Use Active Verbs You still need to work on making your passive sentences active. See: Passive:

Raja Storr sits at a picnic table stringing necklaces of beads and shells preparing gifts to honor tribal dancers at this year's California Big Time celebration.

Active:

Raja Storr sits at a picnic table. She strings necklaces of beads and shells to honor tribal dancers at this year's California Big Time celebration.

Your put more creativity into your ledes in this issue. I spotted some good tries and a few very good examples.

The good examples:

Living in a wet and gloomy environment is a downer. It doesn't help when people are colder than the weather.
Paint is retouched, light fixtures are fastened, tables and chairs are put in place and everyone is running around in complete panic.

On a misty Wednesday afternoon, Redwood Bowl is abuzz with the pop of helmet on helmet tackling drills. (although if you take out the "tackling drills" the lede ends with a bigger bang.)

You had some good photos, particularly in sports.

But overall, the paper still lacks creativity and attitude. The design is clean, not captivating.

And while the stories are interesting, they lack real relevance in a time of hardship and anxiety.

Look for stories that will help your readers survive these difficult times, and take action.

I liked the profiles, but they needed a connecting overview that explained why you are doing them and what these people represent. Also I was disappointed that you did not try for some kind of diversity -- there are students of many different ethnicities here at Humboldt, but I didn't see that reflected in your choices for the profiles. You need to be proactive in making your copy reflective of the diverse student body we have.

And though I think humor is important, it tends to not work in the editorial. Save your editorial for focused, serious discussions.