
And you reported on line how the Lady Jacks won 20 games for the FIRST TIME IN HISTORY but there was no mention of that in the paper. In that story online, you mostly quoted the coach when you needed to talk to the women on the team.
First the good
You painted nice pieces about the Humboldt Crew team and the people on the track and field team.
Both had terrific ledes:

and
Sophomore Jasmine Seymour was the last woman standing in the high-jump competition. With two tries down and only one attempt let, she faced the horizontal bar measuring five feet and eight inches.There were some nice online-only pieces as well.
"I can't do it."
Nice showing for the men's basketball story, although you buried the lede. What a difference 24 hours makes is cliche and always avoid cliche. Instead you should have lead with the free throws which Cheek says he will never forget. When reporting an action-packed game, slow down. Select just the best plays and show them to your reader in slow motion.
Now the Bad
Other stories were convoluted and superficial. They suffered from poor sourcing. Your story is only as solid and thorough as your reporting. The parking story was a rehash of previous stories and gave the reader no new insight into a long-standing problem.
You buried the lede for it, as well:
It took Rhiana Jones 20 minutes to find a parking spot the other day. She left one lot, tried another and then had to return to the first before one opened up "It doesn't make sense that they sell more permits than available spots," she said.
In the story on emergency preparedness you failed to talk to any students on the CERT or any students concerned about the possibility of an earthquake or other emergency.
The lede on the KHSU story was long and tedious as was the rest of the story. You allowed Patrick Cleary to say little and even to keep secret the salary he will pay som

Ask good questions:
The story on broadband also suffered from poor sourcing. You needed to talk to stu
What do you mean exactly?
How much exactly?
When exactly?

You mention that the governor cut red tape allowing the project to take off but you don't tell us what red tape and what you mean by the project taking off and when and how it will do so. When exactly will it start? When exactly will the cable
Don't confuse the news angle with the news
The Q&A with Lori Dengler focused on the award she won, when the reader doesn't care about awards. And you quoted a woman who never took her class rather than people who new her well. The trick to a good Q&A is that you need to report and write the introduction as you would a stand alone story -- it needs to explain to the reader why it is important they hear what the person says.
In the Q&A itself, Dengler says some interesting things but you fail to follow up. Instead after she says she has been to obscure places and that she was a reluctant scientist you follow with a question about the award. Instead you should have asked her what obscure places be laid or the satellite dish installed and when exactly will residents get the new hookups? And why are you quoting the CIA factbook for this story?
and what they were like, and what did she mean by a reluctant scientist. That's how you get the anecdotes that bring a person to life.


You give us a short piece about Discovery Walks in Eureka, but you failed to take your readers on the walk.
And here again was a great opportunity for a map.
Finally, as in the intro to the Dengler Q&A, you quoted someone who hasn't been on one of the walking tours rather than someone who has.
No comments:
Post a Comment